i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
How naked do you want me to be?
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