My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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