This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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