Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
