He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Randomize
