some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
