He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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