The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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