I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
