i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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