My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize