Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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