sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
