You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My bed smells like the plague
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
