so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
