I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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