The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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