just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
don't judge my taste in strippers
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
