He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
