all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
