Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
