Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
