Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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