I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
