two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
