did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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