i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
