he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
