Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize