That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
