I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
