This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
