I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
