Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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