I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
