i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
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Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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