i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
All I want is dick and wine.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize