I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
