i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize