she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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