I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
