Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize
