Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
