dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize