why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
