I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
