too bad you live with your parents still
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
