I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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