Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
