Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
