I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
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Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
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Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
They have beer where we have blood.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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