when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
