Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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