I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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