went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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