Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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