***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You work out of a Hotel?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
