glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
