my sisters under your porch take her home
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I have tasted many bathrooms
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
