my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize